meaningless

how does this life work? I'm sitting in my room analyzing it. I breathe in. I breathe out. How do I work? How am I able to think and converse with people? What the heck am I doing here? I'm so small. Here in this little city of Torrance. Everything is so much bigger than I. The world, the galaxy, the universe. But to me, most of the time I'm so big. Weird. Me defines what I do. Really, I don't get it. I don't get how people go without God. I don't get how I did it, how I still do it, or how I will continue to do it. How did everyone become so caught up in themselves and what we all can achieve? We're just sitting here on this earth, spinning around, going in little circles. And the earth is just going in one big circle. Meaningless. It almost makes me not want to do anything, but I can't do that. I don't know why, I don't know what drives me to go next. Really, honestly, truly. I just don't get it.

basically I come back to the question that plagues me: What is all this?!?!